"THE SURVIVORS" #022
WHAT FISH HELL IS THIS?

Comic Updated August 25, 2008

This particular comic, as you've probably already deduced, was not originally intended for web format. It is, in fact, just composed of regular comic book pages chopped in half. Given this fact, it really works well, serialized! Lookit Max in the last panel. "We'll only have one shot at this, so listen carefully!" Very good page break, there.

School's started, and as a fitting tribute, the skies have grayed and poured forth great torrents of rain. Just look at the poor kids, faces pressed sadly against the bus windows, praying for a final reprieve. None will come, children, none will come. I know. I have classes later today.

I've been regaled, these past few weeks, with tales of a good friend's struggles with maintaining order amongst the fishes in her aquarium. You see, they're all evil. The environment's rather like the walled-off prison-city in "Escape from New York," where one glance in the wrong direction is the last mistake you'll ever make*.

Every morning, she wakes up to discover that one of her carefully-chosen -- and none too cheap -- fish have been eaten, or mauled, or mugged by another of the fish in the tank. And it's not just one problem fish causing the trouble, it's ALL of 'em. There's a clear turf war going on, and the winner is the last one awake.

I've long felt that pet shops would be doing a great service if they could offer their customers some sort of computerized fish-compatibility guide -- it would have saved my parents a great deal of cash back when they made the unfortunate decision to add an exotic, and exceptionally-voracious, puffer fish to their old salt-water tank. Possibly the other fish in the tank could have signalled that this was a bad idea, but they're not terribly expressive creatures -- their "I'm about to be eaten" expression is very much the same as their "oh, look, more gravel" expression.

Anyways, fish: reckless psychopaths. I'm off to work!

*Or possibly results in a cab ride with Ernest Borgnine, which could be equally unpleasant depending on the heat of the day.

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copyright 2008 spookingtons