comic updated October 27, 2008

Not that there's anything wrong with it, but, well, the world of Fable 2... is gay. I mean, literally. Close to half of the male population of Albion is homosexual. There's no real closets for 'em to hide in, either -- they've got great big ol' heart icons floating over their heads that indicate they're in man-love with my mighty, bearded, and, might I add, straight-as-an-arrow Hero character.

I'm not exaggerating the ratios , either-- in fact, there are so many gay villagers in Albion that a young man's distress in one of the optional quests at revealing his true nature to his father becomes absolutely laughable. Your dad wont understand that you're gay? Look out the window, there's a gay farmhand and a gay weapon-seller coming up the road. Every pub in Albion is a gay bar! I think your father will understand; he knew your odds were fifty-fifty at birth.

Now, it should be noted that the original Fable had a few gay villagers -- one or two per village, which was, at least, keeping to a fairly realistic ratio for this sort of thing. The purpose of the gay villagers -- or the straight, unmarried villagers, for that matter -- was to provide a marriage prospect for your Hero, should you suddenly decide that one of the identical-looking-and-sounding villagers really struck your fancy.

Well, Fable 2 takes place five hundred years after the events of the original Fable, and the population of Albion has skyrocketed... somehow. Because, frankly, the numbers just don't add up. The simple fact is, with infant mortality rates, bandit, hollow man, hobbes, banshee and troll attacks on every connecting road, either 50% of the men in Albion are fathering at least eight children each, or the good people of Albion have simply devised a more-novel method of reproduction.

It's clear that the inclusion of this number of gay villagers was a measure to provide a wider selection of potential mates to the player, regardless of who the player was, which was nobel enough if only from a marketing perspective... but perhaps the wiser course in this instance, for the sake of realism, would have been for the game to take a wait-and-see approach in regards to which gender the player's character takes an interest in, and THEN determine who comes out of the woodwork. Just a suggestion, for Fable 3.

I don't anticipate them releasing a patch for this one, because that would be gay.

ho ho!

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