Comic Updated August 20, 2008

There's a new House of the Dead a-coming, one not developed in Japan, and while I honestly can't make any observations about the gameplay except that it involves shooting zombies with the Wiimote, the advertising is pushin' all of my buttons, the dirty boogers.  The commercial even ends with a doctored Drive-In theater ad. Oh, man.

You may wonder, "Will the acting be on par with the voicework in House of the Dead 2?" Well, that's a hard one to answer, because development is now taking place in London, and it's entirely possible that only the Japan studios knew the secret to making lumps of wood talk, and mumble out such lines as "We're meeting G over there," and "I don't want to die," mystically delivered with the exact same levels of emotion and inflection.

If you HAVEN'T played "House of the Dead 2," you really owe it to yourself to either check out the re-release on the Wii, or go on a little Youtube safari to see what you've been missing. The voice-acting in "House of the Dead 2" is literally worse than the voice-acting in "Resident Evil." Remember "You, the master of unlocking" and "I was almost a Jill sandwich?" Not even close, brothers, not even close. Heck, the voice-acting in "House of the Dead 2" is even worse than the acting in the "House of the Dead" movie, directed by Uwe Boll.

Note: I am NOT saying I'd rather watch the movie. "House of the Dead 2" is a lot of fun, regardless of the voicework.

Oh, but such voicework! A special award of recognition should be made to the person, or thing, that played Goldman, the head bad guy of that go-around. His delivery, his accent, his voice -- no single line was like any other; each was a unique snowflake of awfulness. He goes from sounding as if he's channeling Stephen Hawking's voicebox with his reading of "Dogs of the AMS -- Time they made a move," to actually slipping into a John Wayne impersonation with the line, "...man's original responsibility -- to protect the life cycle!"

Anyways, do some research, you'll be enchanted by what you find. Also -- THEY CAME FOR BRAINS -- YOU'LL GIVE THEM BULLETS. Awesome.

Remember, brand-new Hsu and Chan in the E-Comic store!

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